Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize