You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Dick very happy bro
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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