she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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