About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Randomize