WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Let's get the cat blown out
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
