if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND