he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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