moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.