You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
should my penis look like a turkey
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS