He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
