the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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