He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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