I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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