I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
