It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
