This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
