just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
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we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
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