need another drink. this is the easiest way
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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