I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
