I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
