Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
