kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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