Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize