I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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