How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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