Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
