therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
