i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
