Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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