i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
