whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
