friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize