i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just want nice things and good sex
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
