You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
accomplished twins. life is a go
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
