here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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