I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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