She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
