yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize