Sponge bath it is.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
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I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
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Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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