This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
