I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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