Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
