a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer