i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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