im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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