Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
there is glitter all over my balls
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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