Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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