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• (419): View more from Ohio

  mustard is like jesus in yellow tights

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (651): View more from Minnesota

  The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  i don't really know how much tequila is too much

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• (347): View more from New York

  today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud

  (917): View more from New York City

  it's sad that this is a milestone

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.

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• (716): View more from New York

  Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.

  (269): View more from Michigan

  That should be the title of my autobiography.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Where'd you go?

  (360): View more from Washington

  Laundry, im. A responsible drunk

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