Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

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(215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section http://tfl.nu/5gr0

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(607): View more from New York

I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"

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(607): I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy" http://tfl.nu/7l02

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(337): View more from Louisiana

you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm

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(337): you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm http://tfl.nu/y579

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(847): View more from Illinois

you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.

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(847): you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life. http://tfl.nu/71wd

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(917): View more from New York City

so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?

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(917): so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question? http://tfl.nu/2bvz

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(952): View more from Minnesota

we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.

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(952): we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point. http://tfl.nu/kfea

Replies (31) Good night (4826) Bad night (1359)
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(847): View more from Illinois

u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends

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(847): u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends http://tfl.nu/ywa9

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers

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(910): I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers http://tfl.nu/vom9

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.

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(604): I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune. http://tfl.nu/081q

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(515): View more from Iowa

i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.

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(515): i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out. http://tfl.nu/7edz

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(512): View more from Texas

I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.

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(512): I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air. http://tfl.nu/cigy

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(949): View more from California

I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea

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(949): I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea http://tfl.nu/q7zc

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(514): View more from Quebec

all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something

(1-514): View more from Quebec

how did you graduate high school

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(514): all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something (1-514): how did you graduate high school http://tfl.nu/3j47

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(+66): View more from Thailand

Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special

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(+66): Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special http://tfl.nu/nl3i

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(516): View more from New York

I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.

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(516): I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life. http://tfl.nu/l6bp

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