I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?