It's Friday. Sex?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
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I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
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is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
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