i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize
