Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.