I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize