I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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