yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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