My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
