Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
