Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
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the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I don't deserve a penis
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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