Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
