What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
In other news, I just burned my penis
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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