Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
