He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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