I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
